Someone calls you out on something you did. Whether you agree with them or disagree with them isn't the problem. The problem is you have 3 options to choose from as your response. You can either:
A: Let your inner mean girl come out- They are being ridiculous. Are they seriously making a bigger deal out of this than it really is. How dare they do this to you. They have no reason to be upset nor do they have a right to talk to you this way.
B: Stuff it all down inside and let the inside chatter take over- They obviously think you are so stupid. They can't believe how you would dare do that so obviously they will never forgive you or want to talk to you ever again. I'm sure they will go around and tell everyone and their dog about what I did. How could I have been so stupid? They think I'm so immature and the worst type of person.
C: Apologize for what you did to offend or upset them and move on- Most of the time this is the least likely one we will resort to. As woman we are driven by emotions and I would bet 99.9% off the time it is hard to not react based upon our emotions. We let the emotions flow and very rarely stop and take a second to think over how we are going to react. It's in our nature. It's in our make up. But that doesn't mean we can't change how we react. It doesn't mean we can't start trying to keep our God given emotions in check.
This morning I had someone let me know I had done something they didn't like very much. I had these very 3 options right in front of my face. And since just last week I had finished the book Unglued By Lysa TerKeurst these 3 options were fresh in my mind. This time God put it pretty quick in my mind that I had no right or reason to let my inner mean girl come out. I may have not had the same opinion in this situation but this person had every right to feel the way they did. So I was left with the last 2 options......
I'll be honest folks, I am so terribly bad with inside chatter. There have been so many times I come home from somewhere and think, "Why did I say that?? Why did I do that?? They all think I'm a moron...." and the list goes on...... So when I read chapter 10 in Lysa's book about inside chatter it shook me up inside. It brought into the light how extremely unhealthy this is and now I try, key word try to stop the inside chatter right away.
This morning was no different. The first option just plainly wasn't a option. The second one though I really had to fight off. I cried to my sweet husband telling him this person is so mad at me now and it will probably be awkward the next time we see them....and how could I ever talk to them again?? If they don't respond to my apology it means they hate me and think I'm so incredibly stupid for doing what I did. Travis of course flat out said, "Chrissy none of that is true and if they are mad they will get over it. They will not be mad forever." Yep there was my stop sign to quiet the inside chatter. This poor person didn't actually physically say anything I was rambling on about. I hung up with the hubby and remembered chapter 10 in Lysa's book. I had apologized for making a stupid decision and that was that. I needed to just move on and not sit and listen to the devil feed me lies. Because frankly I know that was what he was doing. He was making me feed into all the insecurities I have about myself.
I could have dwelt on this small thing literally all day. I could have felt stupid all day. I could have wondered if they were over it all day. But instead I tried my darnedest to do option 3. Wasn't easy and it probably won't ever be an easy option but with God's help I can do anything....of that I am sure...
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
