Own it momma.....

I woke up this morning annoyed.  This whole time change has racked havoc on our girls' schedules.  We have been getting up far to early and it feels like it will never go back to normal.  After making sure Travis was putting on the coffee and I brought sweet Lyla down from her room, I started scrolling through Facebook on my phone as I impatiently waited for the coffee to finish.  After only a few short seconds I came across something that took my breath away.  Something that stopped me dead in my tracks and tears to form in my eyes.  A sweet angelic looking little 3 year old niece of a Facebook friend had passed in her sleep last night. Suddenly my annoyance seemed to not mean a single thing.  My babies where playing in front of me happily and....breathing...full of life.  I was happy and blessed to have them alive.  My small annoyance was nothing compared to the pain that young momma must be feeling....

All morning it was all I could pray about...think about.  Made me have more patience with the girls...more compassion...more grace.... And it got me thinking about how whenever something tragic seems to happen to a young child we always say the phrases "Hug your kids tonight..." or "Hold onto them a little longer today".  And then before we know it life moves on and exhaustion creeps in.  Our tempers get short again....the rush of life hurries us out the door.  But you know what? These precious children God entrusts us with...these fragile souls we get blessed with....are only ours for such a short time.  We can never 100% know when they will be taken from this earth.  Every single soul on this earth will be taken from it at some point.  We don't know the years, months, weeks, days or hours we have.  So besides the same old saying of cherishing every moment we have with them... I started thinking about something else we need to keep in mind as we journey together on this road of motherhood.....

Each of our journeys as mothers are different.  We all have our own way of doing things....we all have our own ways to be the best parents we can be to our kids.  And since time is fleeting before our very eyes I feel we as mothers need to start owning it.   We need to start owning the decisions we make as mothers for the benefit of our kids.  As mothers I know we all have those voices in our heads.  Those voices of doubt and fear over how other mothers or society is choosing to judge each and every decision we make for our kids.  But you see, TIME is FLEETING. Even if our kids never leave this earthly home before us, we still only get a few super short years to help shape their tiny souls.

So this is a call out to every single mommy out there.  New and experienced...young and old..... You, yes YOU were entrusted by God for that tiny little sweet amazing child's life.  Whatever decision you choose for the betterment of your kid, own it.  Hold your head proud and drown out every single doubt you have.  Hold your head proud and pray for God to help quiet all of society's judgments.  Stay at home mamas, we chose this life after much prayer and going over the numbers.  We chose this because it was the best decision for our family.  There will always be those people out there wondering what we did all day or thinking that if you are struggling financially maybe we should 'get up off our butts' and go to work.  Ignore them.  Own it momma.  Working mommas out there, good for you girl.  I know that decision wasn't easy.  I know when you come home to find out that sweet baby did something new without you being there is hard.  I know it's not easy but you decided that because it was best for your family.  Own it momma.  To the mom who prayed and cried and researched and prayed some more and then finally decided to homeschool.  I see you, I can only imagine that some days you wonder if you did the right thing.  I imagine it can get long and hard and stressful.  I imagine you can sense when it comes up in conversation and people say "Ohhhh you homeschool"...that you can tell in their voices that they don't approve.  Guess what? You don't need the world's approval.  You, only you know what's best for your family.  To the mommas who put their kids on that public school bus every morning and pray that they are kept safe.  I see you, I know how you must worry about all that is being taught at school.  How you must pray and worry so much for what they might be tempted with or how safe they are.  Girl, you made that decision because it's best for your family.  Or maybe you are the mom who spent money on a higher education, a degree in something your heart and soul was in.....But then that sweet angelic face popped into your life and your world turned upside down.  Therefore you aren't working in the field your degree is in...instead you are working a job that maybe wasn't your life passion but you get more time with that precious soul.  Don't be ashamed....don't be afraid to shout it out why you did it.  That little life is worth it. Own it mommma....OWN IT MOMMAS.

The list could go on and on....because you see we are all different.  No 2 moms are the same.  No 2 kids are the same.  God made each of us unique and with that each of our parenting techniques will be unique.  And that is a beautiful thing.  I don't ever want to be ashamed of how we chose to raise our 2 beautiful girls.  Because if there ever should come a time where our time together is cut short.....I don't want to have any regrets.  I don't want to ever regret not giving hugs, kisses and I loves yous....I don't ever want to regret how I raised them.  I want to own it.  I want to feel 100% confident that I did the best I could....the way Christ was leading me to parent.....

So sweet momma.....those doubts about how you are raising those precious little souls.....pray that God silences them.  As long as you are letting God speak into your heart about the way you should go...that's all that matters.  You know what your family needs more than anyone else.  Those little hearts look to you for guidance and you are doing the absolute best you can.  It might not look like how I do things or the mom down the street....but girl....you are rocking it.  Own it momma....own it....

Motherhood:The best teacher of all...

Chances are, if you live in South Dakota or Minnesota, you looked out your window at some point today and noticed something fall from the sky.  There's also a good chance that it wasn't rain nor a meteor.  It was probably white and it was probably something that made you wrinkle up your nose.  That's right, it snowed for the first time this season.  And if your facebook is anything like mine, you were updated by many family and friends that it was in fact snow.  You were also probably reminded that, for most of us anyway, we don't particularly like the first snow.  Now most of us I would say LOVE the snow at Christmastime.  However this first snowfall usually catches us off guard (even though it IS almost November let me remind you).  It reminds us that the warm sunny weather will become a thing of the past for the next several long months.  And honestly makes us feel a little grumpy.  Unless of course you are one of those weird people that LOVE the cold weather....which is a pretty alien species if I do say so myself... ;)

However I would also bet that if you are like me and have a little one at home.....at the same time as you were slowing dying inside, they were beaming with joy and excitement as those tiny flakes of evilness fell.  You mentioned to them that it was in fact snowing outside (maybe even with a little bit of detest in your voice) and they ran as fast as they could to the window.  They wanted to watch this exciting turn of events.  They might have even squealed with delight.  And for a few minutes you watched in complete amazement that, while you were completely hating the fact, they were basking in it.  They had a completely different perspective of the situation than you did.

(Our sweet Maci looking at TONS of snow her first winter.)

As I watched this scene unfold in my own house, it got me thinking how it could easily be applied to any situation.  We can so easily be disgusted, angry, upset at ANY circumstance that may face us.  It is so easy to just look at the bad that seems to be screaming out from what unfolds before us.  What would happen though if we changed our perspective a little and looked at it from a different angle? It doesn't mean that we can't still feel upset or disgruntled ever, but if we change how we choose to see things it just might change how we see everything.  It may just in fact shift our focus to something that is more important.  It may just in fact have the power to impact how someone else sees something they themselves are facing.  Perspective changes EVERYTHING.  

While I don't think I will ever fully enjoy the first snowfall, I do know that I adore watching my girls get excited over it.  Their faces make it worth it.  And I am so unbelievably thankful for the new perspectives they give me on life.  And how much they help teach me.  Keep it up girls....cause Mommy still has so much yet to learn.....
 

New Beginning

I can still remember how my heart felt that day.  I was so excited to finally get to be an 'adult'.  Living in my own apartment, having no one to answer to as to when I would be coming home that night.  And yet my heart pounded so hard at times that I thought it might leap from my chest.  I would be 2 1/2 hours from everything I've ever known.  All those that I love would not be within minutes anymore.  I knew no one in town.  Not one single person.  Would I make friends? Would I be able to find my own rhythm in such an uncharted territory?  I think my first night alone in that small apartment my heart felt every single emotion possible.  Excitement...fear...optimism....worry.  No one knew who I was.  They knew nothing about my past nor who I was back in Sioux Falls...essentially I could be anyone I wanted to be...

Any young person who leaves their hometown and goes off to college will tell you it was life changing.  Sounds like a cliche but when you move away to a new place it is bound to change in one way or another.  You are given a clean slate. A blank page.  A fresh start....a new beginning.

Fast forward almost 8 years and I have been through a few new beginnings.  When I moved to MN after we got married, when we moved to Canby, and now Canton.  As I was walking last week I took a look around at the life that was going on around me and it hit me again.  No one knows us here.  They don't know anything about our pasts, nothing about our character or have any preconceived notions that they've heard from others.  We have been given another clean slate...a new beginning.

This is a huge gift.  Fresh starts are precious, beautifully rare gems.  A gem that we need to be intentional with how we choose to use.  And that got me thinking about how Christ offers everyone this beautifully rare gem.  He died on the cross to forgive us.  To give us a new life...a clean slate...a new beginning. 

"For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism.  And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live NEW lives."

Romans 6:4

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a NEW person.  The old life is gone; a NEW life has begun!"

2 Corinthians 5:17

How amazing is that? How many people do we have in our lives that could use and love this precious gift? Are we doing everything in our power to let them know about Christ? With such a hurting world today, it is crying out for fresh starts and new beginnings.  We need to do everything in our strength to get the word out.  Live our lives for Christ in a more meaningful way than ever before.  Be missionaries in our own communities to spread the word that in Christ we have new life.

"Then I will sprinkle clean water on you and you will be clean.  Your filth will be washed away and you will no longer worship idols.  And I will give you a NEW heart and I will put a NEW spirit in you.  I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.  And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations."

Ezekiel 36:25-27

New beginnings are precious.  A rare gift not everyone gets.  But in Christ, we all have the opportunity to have one!

And as for my current new beginning? I want to be intentional about smiling at everyone I come in contact with.  Saying "hi" to everyone I can.  If I become known as the 'crazy, happy, never stops smiling' lady in Canton....I'm ok with that.  Because maybe....just maybe...it will lead to a deeper conversation later on about where my light comes from.  Which of course is simple:

CHRIST.  

"Since you have heard about Christ and you have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.  Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.  Put on your NEW nature, created to be God-like - truly righteous and holy"

Ephesians 4:21-24

I dare you....double dare you...

I want you to indulge me for a moment.  Close your eyes and dream.  Dream of a world where everyone lives in harmony.  What does that world look like to you? I imagine it is a beautiful place where everyone gets along.  There is no arguing, no harsh words being said, no insults being flung around.  Everyone is full of love and compassion towards one another.

Now let me ask you this: In this world of complete harmony, does everyone agree? Does everyone share the same opinions? Or is it a place where everyone has their own opinions and ideas but no one shares them out loud? Is it possible to live in a world of harmony but yet disagree with some of life's issues? That my friends is a HUGE question....

In today's world there are so many places people share their opinions and beliefs.  Social media....blogs... face to face conversations....texts...newspapers...news media..the list could go on and on.  Opinions, thoughts, feelings are everywhere we look.  Not everyone shares our same opinions and in America, usually....supposedly, this idea that we are all different is something we are called to celebrate.  But lately it seems that it's only cause to celebrate if the person shares our same opinion...

Go on Facebook at any given time and you can find a hot topic post.  Once you do this go ahead and click on the comments section.  When I do this I'm usually left heart broken.  Not only do I see non-Christians attacking Christians....I also see CHRISTIANS going after non-Christians...and even worse yet....Christians attacking CHRISTIANS.  Everyone frantically trying to get their own opinions out....wanting their voice to be heard.  And in the process of doing what is their right to do...they are taking casualties.  Insults are being flung around like they are no big deal.  Like there aren't real people on the other side of the screen with real heart felt feelings.  Name-calling...cursing one another out...belittling...it's all there and it seems we as a human race have started to see it as our God given right to treat one another this way.  Because, you see, we are being taught that when someone doesn't agree with us that we need to fight to the death to protect our opinions.  Like if we for some reason don't keep fighting for it, our ideas and opinions will be taken away from us.  We are being taught our opinions are right and everyone else is always wrong.  We are being taught that we are entitled to do as we please when we please.  We are taught that having a difference of opinion somehow gives us the right to rip to shreds everyone who differs from us.

As a Christian, I am embarrassed and heartbroken when I find conversations where such things are happening.  Especially when I see members of the body of Christ are partaking in such acts.  What does the bible ask of us?

"So then let us aim for harmony in the church & try to build each other up..."

Romans 14:19

"May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you to live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus." 

Romans 15:5

"Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful.  Grow in maturity.  ENCOURAGE each other.  Live in harmony and peace.  Then the God of love and peace will be with you."

2 Corinthians 13:11

When I read these verses, I don't dream of world where everyone is the same and has the same opinions.  After all God created each of us as unique.  What I do dream of is a place where people aren't afraid to share their own in fear that they will be viciously attacked.  I do not think the bible calls us to never disagree with anyone.  After all we all called to proclaim who He is and preach the gospel.  The whole world will NEVER whole heartedly agree to that.  But I do think it calls us to share our opinions and beliefs in love.  As followers of Christ we should be leading the pact with this.  But sadly, I fear, we are miserably failing at it.

"A gentle answer deflects anger,

but harsh words make tempers flair.

The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing,

but the mouth of the fool belches out foolishness."

Proverbs 15:1-2

When being pulled down into such evil, remember this verse.  The harsh words never win, love & gentleness do.  Let God's teaching, wisdom, and knowledge fill your soul when sharing your opinions.  Let them be dripping with love and gentleness.  Speak and share when He says share and when He says quiet....stay quiet.  

Let us show this tired, sad, longing for a savior world who Christ really is....

Can people live in harmony while still sharing their differing opinions? I say the answer is YES!

Friends let's show them by being the example of this.  We can and should stand up for Christ.  But above all...let's do it in LOVE.....

"Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.  And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.  For as members of one body you are called to live in peace.  And always be thankful.

 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives.  Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom it gives.

 Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.  And whatever you do or say.....DO IT AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE LORD JESUS. Giving thanks through Him to God the father.."

Colossians 3:14-17 

 

An old fashioned kind of love...

It's the 1940s, a boy sees a girl from across the street.  Her smile is contagious....her laughter magnetic.  In an instant he knows she's the one for him.  Of course when he asks her out she tries multiple times to refuse.  The boy, in the same token, refuses to give up.  He sees her get on a ferris wheel with another guy and runs and leaps onto their seat.  When she refuses him yet again, he proceeds to dangle high above the ground in order to force her to say yes.  And from there, they proceed to fall madly in love.....a true passionate old fashioned kind of love.  Fast forward years later and we find this girl, now woman, has Alzheimers.  She has seemed to forgotten the love of her life and yet he continues to refuse to accept that and makes her fall for him over and over and over again. Until one day they lie down and drift off into heaven together....

We all know this story.  It's Nicholas Sparks book titled, "The Notebook".  Women, and let's be honest some men, fell head over heels in love with this story.  We fell deeply into each character.  We felt what they felt.  We cried when they cried and we laughed when they laughed.  Some may say we loved it so much because it was a beautifully written story.  And while I agree I also feel like we let it seep so deep into our souls because we all crave that earth shaking, knees quaking, no one else matters around you kind of love.  And not only that passionate, but a love that is so powerful it lasts until your final breath.  And not only until your final breath but also through all sorts of turmoil, heartache, and pain.  A love that is still felt even when one of your memory's slips away.  A real, honest, pure, simple, passionate, old fashioned kind of love.  In today's society.....in generations since that time, it just doesn't seem to happen when you look at the staggering statics of marriages.  Life it seems has gotten more complicated for families.  Both the husband and wife can easily both have booming careers outside the home.  Kids activities seem to clutter and fill up the schedule.  There's errands to run, chores to be done, functions to attend, meetings to go to....and it seems that the thing that takes the biggest hit is our relationships with our spouse.  We seem to take that relationship, that bond, that love for granted.  It's so easy to assume the will always be there for us.  They are married to us after all so they will have to wait.  Other things, other people, other stuff needs our attention more at whatever season we are at in our lives....

Recently, just a few weeks ago actually, Travis' beloved Papa passed away.  He lived to be the wonderfully old age of 92.  And by his side for almost 68 of those amazing years was his wife Lilian.  Can you even fathom that? When he was just 24 and she was just 18 they fell madly in love with each other.  And they never stopped.  They had their share of good times and bad.  They had 2 sons together and lived out their lives on the farm.  Ever since I started dating Trav I honestly don't think I ever saw one without the other.  With each glance they gave one another I saw the purest form of love I have ever seen.  The way he looked at her, his eyes danced.  I can just picture it in my mind as I close my eyes now.  When Travis would tell stories about the 2 of them he would say so many times how much they loved each other.  For the last several years we had said we didn't know how one would get along without the other.  They had that "Notebook" kind of love.  That love that society seems to view as a 'fairytale' these days.  We haven't been back to the farm since Papa's passing but I know how incredibly hard that day is going to be.  When we think of Papa and Grandma, we think of them as one unit.  They aren't 2 separate people in our minds.  They are 2 souls forever intertwined....

When I think of them, it makes my soul yearn....It makes my soul yearn and aspire to make sure that Travis and I have that old fashioned kind of love.  That love that people don't see much of these days it seems.  That love that intertwines us for eternity.  That love that makes people see us as one unit.  That love where if either one of us were to lose the other we wouldn't know how to go on nor would we want to live in that world.  A piece of us would forever be missing. 

In today's society we are told that we shouldn't depend on anyone like that.  Especially women are taught that.  That we need to be our own person and we need to take care of ourselves.  That we need to prove to society that we don't need a man in our lives to take care of us.  And men are taught that they need to prove that they don't need any women in their lives telling them what to do.  That marriage is a ball and chain relationship...

I tell you what ladies and gentlemen listen up.... I want that kind of love.  Society is lying to you once again.  That old fashioned kind of love is good for the soul.  That old fashioned kind of love works.  That old fashioned kind of love is the kind where the divorce rate isn't 1 out of every 2 marriages.  That old fashioned kind of love is the kind of love that God created for us all.  He wants us to feel that kind of love.  Our souls yearn for it.  It's why we love stories like the Notebook.  But they don't have to be just stories.  Love like that really exists out there.  Papa Donovan and Grandma Lillian are living proof of that.  I pray that Travis and I live to see 68 beautiful years together.  It's not going to be easy....but by God it's going to be WORTH it.  Find an inspirational couple in your own life and let them inspire you to do everything in your power to make sure you are fighting for them daily.  That that relationship is your top priority after Jesus.  Kids are amazing but they thrive when mommy and daddy are head over heels in love.  The busyness doesn't have to be so busy.  Carve out time for them.  Do unexpected things for them.  Pray for them.  And when life tries to bash the love out, dig in your heels and fight for them....

I want an old fashioned kind of love......the earth shaking, knees quaking, no one else matters around you kind of love......

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES C'MON! Or....wait....what?

A sweet Facebook friend shared an assignment tonight.  One that I felt as if she had written specifically for me.  Like seriously God sat her down and said, "Chelsia...you need to post this assignment for Chrissy.  Because her and her family are moving into a new season and frankly they have been complaining about the past one far too much." Oh sweet Jesus why do you have to be so direct sometimes.....

The assignment, or frankly in our case challenge, was this:  Count how many rooms you have in your houses, and then think of that many things you can CELEBRATE from the past season.  Guess how many rooms our house has? 11.  Yes 11.  I think God has a sense of humor because honestly this past season has been one of the most painful seasons we have ever had in our marriage yet.  I wasn't even sure if we would be able to do it.  Well Travis and I sat down and we did it! And I want to share it with all you because I want you to realize that no matter how much the season you are in sometimes frankly sucks, there are ALWAYS things in it worth celebrating.  So here we go:

1. WE HAD OUR LYLABUG!! Seriously the best thing worth celebrating.  She's a ray of sunshine in our lives.

2. We made some awesome awesome friends in Canby.  Seriously God placed them in our lives for a reason.

3. We learned FULLY that no matter what God WILL provide.  Seriously there were times we shouldn't have made it when Trav was living in Canby by himself.  And guess what? All bills always got paid.

4. Trav got sales experience to put on his resume to help lead him to his next (now current) job.

5. We didn't have to live apart the whole 2 years.  God provided a house to live in.  We might not like the house...it might not be anything that we wanted, but God provided the way for us to live here.  So we could live as a family again.

6.  As hard as this one is to admit: That our house in Litchfield DIDN'T sell.  If it would have sold we would have bought one in Canby.  And we don't belong here.

7.  Our marriage STRENGTHENED while we were living apart not weakened.  Yes that's right.  I said strengthened.  That's UNHEARD of in today's world.  And yet we made sure to hold on for dear life and make sure that was our top priority.

8.  Maci is here with us.  If you remember a year and a half ago....she had the worst case of croup.  One that made her go to Children's in an ambulance and end up in ICU.  They didn't know if she was going to pull through when she was first brought in.  She is here and had just the right doctor at just the right time.

9. Our faith grew stronger. Our love for Jesus is like nothing we've ever felt before now.  We loved him and trusted him before.  Now we love him and trust him more than we ever thought possible.

10.  God provided just the right job, in just the right location, at just the right time.  The new job Trav has.....it's more than we could have ever pictured him doing at this point in his life.

11.  WE SURVIVED!! I tell you what with all we have been through this season....with all the curve balls we have been thrown.... we shouldn't be the family we are today.  We shouldn't still have the faith we have...we shouldn't be such a strong tight knit family.  In today's world, the scenarios we were in tear families apart.  They don't make them stronger....they don't survive.  WE DID!! We are here to tell the stories and here to share our faith with anyone who will listen.   We survived...

While this season is over, and we start to move into our next... I'm so thankful.  The end of this chapter is painful, and will continue to hurt for a little while but....BUT we see the light.  And God is and will always be good.

I encourage you to do Chelsia's assignment.  Even if it's hard....actually ESPECIALLY if it's hard.  All glory to God forever and ever......

When God takes you on detours...

It's so easy to question God isn't it? It's so easy to also question whether you took a wrong path.  You sit down and pray over a situation.  You pray so hard for God to show you that that is the calling for you.  That this road will lead to good things at the end of it.  That this road will lead you to blessings far more than you can imagine.  That's what we did almost exactly 2 years ago.  We sat down and prayed so hard for our future.  We felt God calling us out of Litchfield.  And as scary and hard as it was, we felt such a peace about it.  We felt that God was giving Travis an opportunity to move into his dream position.  We felt that He had bigger and better things in mind for our family and we needed to put far more trust into Him than we ever had before.  Trav accepted the Canby job, we put our house on the market...and then much to our disappointment.... Maci and I watched Trav drive away to his new job without us.  We watched him do that every single week for a year.  It was probably the hardest most emotional year I had ever had.  Our faith was tested more than it ever had up until that point in our still somewhat young lives.  And then November 1st rolled around and we finally got to move as a family.  Things were still left undone but we finally finally got to all live under one roof.  We were so happy and didn't want to take a second of it for granted. A few months later we had our 2nd baby girl and even though our house was still on the market we continued to trust God with everything we had.  After all he had brought us this far.  We had some severe hardships this past winter with finances but God provided like He always does.

As spring rolled around we started to feel that unsettled feeling again.  That feeling like God is doing something behind the scenes and yet you don't know what it is.  I got excited thinking our house was going to sell as soon as we put it back on the market.  And then God started whispering into my heart....."Make the most of the situation you are in Daughter but you don't belong here.  I've got something else in mind" And to be honest Trav and I tried to ignore it.  After all we worked so hard to move here.  And then things began happening.  Things that broke our heart.  Things that made us angry.  Things that made me cry... a lot.  Finances started to get tighter and tighter (seriously NEVER EVER EVER live in a house with fuel oil. WORST DECISION EVER). As we started to try even harder to find new housing that was affordable and just simply worked better for our family in the area we kept coming up empty handed.  And that whispering in our hearts began getting louder and louder. "You don't belong here children......I've got something better in store for you".  So Trav began searching for new jobs.  We were so confused because honestly....we thought Canby was going to be our new forever hometown.  And yet a place we worked so hard to get to, God was just blocking our paths to stay here.  We didn't get it. We didn't understand it.  Why God? Why after such a hard year to get us here are we having to search to leave again? Did we hear you wrong the first time? Were we never supposed to be here in the first place? And that's when the Hefty job popped up in South Dakota.  Trav didn't apply right away.  In fact he had applied to other jobs before that didn't work out for one reason or another.  But that job kept getting brought up on our computer screen and he kept asking me what I thought.  He finally said "What the heck.  It can't hurt me to apply"  He never in a million years thought they would look twice at his application.  You see this is a job he thought he wouldn't get for many years after working in a coop in sales.  He's always wanted to work at a big seed company.  (And even though I didn't say it I was pretty excited for the job to be so close to my family ;) ) After he applied, he got an email pretty quickly from HR that she was on vacation for the week but really looked forward to talking to him the next week about the position.  That was sign number 1 that God was moving.  What person on vacation responds to a resume? Seriously that doesn't happen.  Soon after that I read this verse:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

Jeremiah 29:11-14

That last line struck me "I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land." He will gather us from where He sent us. He will bring me home again to my own land.  Wow.  Powerful stuff given our situation at that time.  Fast forward a few weeks and Trav had done 2 interviews with 2 different companies.  Both told us fairly quickly that they wanted him and offered him jobs.  But it was extremely clear which one was meant for us.  Hefty not only wanted him, but they let him choose which location he wanted to be at.  There were also some other things that were holding us back from saying yes and yet Hefty made sure to make those right with us so we had no doubts in our mind this was the place for us.  There was even one point as Trav was telling me what was said as such a God thing where I cried.  God was working miracles and He was making sure we got the message loud and clear this time.  

I can't even begin to tell you all the ways God has made sure we are confident this time with this move.  From housing.... we had an AWFUL time trying to find a place...Which in turn made us so angry because again REALLY God?? Really? That was a big reason why we had to move from Canby and now we are having to deal with that again? Well, turned out one of the first places I called ended up working out even though it sounded like it wasn't going to work out at all.  Budget wise was perfect...location wise was perfect....so far everything has been perfect.  The weekend we accepted the job we had 2 showings on our house in Litchfield which we hadn't had in forever.  Did our house sell? No but God has always used showings as a way to reassure us it seems.  A week or so after we accepted, suddenly in Canby there were 3 or 4 houses for rent.  If we hadn't got this new job at this certain time we probably would have rented one and then been stuck here for at least another year.  There have been many more signs but right now my brain is all over the place.  

You see, when God tries to bless you, for some reason, the devil starts to get nervous.  The last 2 weeks have again been so extremely emotional.  Things have been happening that are very hurtful.  Things have been happening where it is also been made even clearer that we don't belong in Canby.  Things have been happening where we are questioning God even more than ever why He brought us here.  And even though these things are so hard and can break our hearts into a million pieces God has very quickly seemed to pick up the pieces and start trying to weave it all together for the good.  And it makes me so thankful that God is on our side and that we love Jesus so much. 

I will never understand this world.  I try so hard to see the best in everyone and this world quickly reminds me that this isn't our home.  People and events won't always do what is right.  The devil will always be at work.  Those facts will always seem to take my breath away and break my heart.  But through it all, I can always be assured that Jesus loves us so so so much.  Life is hard but He will never never leave us.  I am living proof and can sit here and tell you without a doubt that Jesus cares.  He is always there.  You can cry to Him, scream at Him, question Him and yet He will still be there.  He is always waiting for you to come to Him.  If you hold on to Him, life seems just a bit easier to deal with. It will still be hard, there will still be heartbreaks but we have so much hope and promises in Him that will never fail.  Whatever you are going through...please please always hold onto that.  

The next month or so....especially the next 2 weeks are going to be incredibly hard on our family.  Our faith, in my opinion, is going to be tested even more than it has been thus far.  The only thing I can and will say is we aren't leaving Canby with very many good memories and good things to say.  And that's such a hard thing to say.  It breaks my heart quite honestly.  We are trying to speculate why God even brought us here and quite frankly I don't think we will ever know until we meet Jesus in heaven someday and get to ask Him.  What I do know is God gave me such a precious gift for my last year here.  And tears are filling my eyes thinking about her but honestly it needs to be said.  Jess Citrowske I can't thank you enough for your incredible friendship since we moved here.  God used you to make sure that I never felt alone in this town.  Your family's friendship is something we are going to cherish forever.  God hand picked you to be put in our lives and I can't thank Him enough for that.  "I thank my God every time I remember you" Philippians 1:3 

Please please please continue to keep our family in your prayers the next month, especially the next 2 weeks.  We have a mountain in front of us and will be having to lean on God more than ever before.  This path once again isn't going the way we thought but we know God can make everything work out for good. (Romans 8:28) Life is hard...but our God is so much stronger.....