Hardest Job of all..

Let's face it.  Motherhood is hard.  Period.  End of Story.  Any mother will admit that to you if you truly ask.  And if they say it's easy, chances are they are lying to you.  Every time you think  you've got it all figure out and under control, the little dears switch it up on you and throw you for a loop.  You find ways to worry about them even when they are completely 100% fine.  Once you get through 1 stage, you are headed right into a new one.  It might be one that gives you a break, or it might be one that makes you want to scream and count down the minutes and hours until bedtime or nap time.  (Which by the way, those 2 times are sacred in our home.....completely and totally sacred :) )

We have been so unbelievably blessed with Maci. She has been such a good baby overall since birth.  Always has a smile for anyone willing to accept one (and even those that turn away grumpy, which rarely happens), listens to instructions (most of the time), and overall just has such a happy attitude.  We know how blessed we are and we get asked quite often if she is always smiling.  With that being said.....she isn't.  She isn't always smiling and we go through those awful stages just like everyone else. Maci just so happens to be like me when I was little.  To everyone else I looked so sweet and innocent, but trust me with my parents I could totally be a different story. Right mom? :) To the rest of the world Maci looks to be like a breeze, and most of the time she is.  But when the doors close in our home sometimes, we do get the screaming and tantrums.  The attitudes where nothing makes her happy and the buckets of tears.

This past week we are knee deep in a stage.  It could be she has just hit a point where she is realizing she can't always get what she wants or it could be that we are working on our last few teeth.  Yep girl only has 3 more left before her 2 year molars in the winter.  And can I just say she started out with only 2 teeth in January.  Yea just think about that.....10 or so teeth in a matter of a few months.  Mommas out there just feel my pain for a moment ;). 

The past few days have been difficult to say the least.  There has been screaming and whining and crying....from both of us.  There are times when I cry with her from being so exhausted with the day of fighting her on everything she knows she shouldn't be doing.  There are times when I want to just sit in the bathroom and lock the door.  And then there are times when daddy gets home and neither one of us can get to the door fast enough.  We have tried different outings and activities and she isn't satisfied with any of it.  She just going through a phase and I keep reminding myself of that.  But it's just so. hard.

But then out of no where God uses this little angel faced baby to speak to me and teach me something to simple that I sit there amazed.  Yesterday I was trying to get something done that I felt the Lord telling me to do.  As we were rushing around the house trying to leave after a rough start to the morning I couldn't find Maci's other shoe.  When you are already frustrated something so little can just send you over the edge.  I kept repeating "Maci find your shoe....Maci find your shoe." The poor girl just kept staring at me and to be honest it was making me more irritated.  Finally I said in a pretty gruff voice from being so mad that I couldn't find the stupid thing, "Maci! Find your shoe!" She looked at me puzzled and calming bent over to pick up the other shoe I was looking for....that was RIGHT in FRONT of her!  I sat down and started to laugh and she proceeded to laugh with me.  I felt so stupid.  What I was looking for all along was right there.  I gave my sweet babe a hug and kiss and off we went.

I didn't give much thought to that moment again until this morning on our walk.  It popped up into my mind again and then I heard His voice.  And once again I laughed at how simple the answer was.

"Daughter, I have all the answers to your life.  All the solutions to your problems.  If only you would remember that always.  There would be no reason for frustration and anger, if only you would trust me always."

I then just pictured Maci's face in that moment when she was like "Mom DUH!! The shoe is right here!"  And then I pictured God's face when He sees us searching so hard and He knows the answer.  All He wants from us is to ask.  All He wants from us is to trust in Him.  All He wants from us is to love Him.  It's such a hard one to do in such a rush, impatient, do it on our own world.  But if we did more leaning and trusting and asking on Him, our lives would be so much simpler! 

"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You.  Show me where to walk, for I give myself to You."   -Psalm 143:8

I'm gonna leave you with this video.  Music touches the deepest part of me and this is one of my many favorite songs by Chris Tomlin.  Right now it makes me think of a very special family to our family that is going through some super tough stuff.  Always remember that when you think you have it bad, there is someone else out there who is going through something worse than you are.  If that's you, may this song give you comfort.