God never promised it would be easy...

We are over halfway done with our 2nd week of Trav living in Canby while Maci and I are living in an overly clean house without him.  It has probably been the longest 2 weeks of my life.  And frankly I have tried to keep us overly busy so we don't have time to really process what is happening.  If I stop and think about it, I mean truly stop and process everything our family has to do in order to be together again, I honestly might have a break down.  And that's not an option for me.....

During this entire life change, from the very beginning, Travis and I have given it all to God.  We have continually laid it down at His feet since the very first phone call was made.  And because we have done that, I think...no I KNOW that is where my strength is coming from.  I'm usually a big worry wart.  This whole ordeal should make me go INSANE from worry.  But every single time one of those nasty what if thoughts tries to enter my mind, I have said, "God take it.  You know what's going to happen.  I trust You..."  And the worry melts away.

Now that doesn't mean the road thus far as been easy.  We all know when God is trying to do good things in our lives Satan looks for any hole he can to work his way into our minds.  He does everything he can to get in there and destroy all God has planned for us. And as much as we have confidence that this life change is part of the plan God has for us, Satan has already tried to stick his nose where it doesn't belong.  And this morning was no different.  Another hiccup arose that could have easily made us say nope that's it we are done.  And to be honest, I was near a break down.  I went into the bathroom, sat down, and let my feelings out.  And then, God reached down and picked me back up again.

It was almost like someone smacked me across the face to be honest.  God never promised me following Him would be easy.  He never promised to hand me everything I ever wanted for me or my family on a silver platter.  In fact in the bible it says many times there will be times of trouble; but that Christ will be by our side and if we trust in Him, He will RENEW our strength.  (Isaiah 40:31)

I know there are people out there going through stuff.  Stressful stuff.  Hard stuff.  Exhausting stuff.  Horrific stuff.  I know there are people out there dealing with things that I can't even imagine, because honestly there is always someone out there going through something worse than your situation somewhere.  And I hope whatever your situation is, you always remember this.  Always remember that God never never promised it would be easy.  He never ever said there wouldn't be some bumps in the road.  But He has promised over and over again that He will be there with you.  He will renew your strength.  He will see you through it even if sometimes it feels like it will never end.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel with God by your side....

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
 They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”  -Jeremiah 17:7-8

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us" -Romans 8:18

Life is too short sometimes...

Death.  It's a hard thing no matter how old a person is.  But there's something to be said about a young person dying.  There is more depth to the grief people that knew the person feels.  The sadness feels a little more heavy.  There's a million more questions of why.  And frankly there can easily be a little more anger. We are supposed to be able to grow up.  Graduate High School.  Graduate College.  Get married.  Raise a family.  Enjoy life until we are old and gray.  And when that doesn't happen...when life throws you a curve ball and someone is gone too soon it just cuts a little deeper.

Yesterday morning the world had another 'too soon too young' person leave this life.  I didn't personal know him but am connected to people that did.  My heart breaks and hurts for all those that loved him.  No words people can say will comfort you in the way you need to be comforted.  Only Jesus can do that....

As Trav and I were getting ready for bed, I looked at him and said, "If you were on the fire department, you would have seen him.  You would have seen a young life gone.  Would you be able to handle that?"  (For those that don't know, Trav has wanted to be on the fire department for a LONG time).  Trav looked away and as he was walking out of the bathroom said, "I've already done that..."

Stupid Chrissy.  Stupid stupid move.  I asked those words without even thinking....Dumb question.

In August 2007 Travis experienced one of his darkest days. We were only 18.  Long story short, Trav drove out to his buddies place in Milan MN to check up on him.  We hadn't been able to get a hold of him for hours and he was supposed to meet up with Trav around lunch time to move into their new apartment.  At around 8:30 that night, Trav found him face first on the living room floor.....he was dead. It's an image that is forever burned into my husbands brain.   We were only 18.  Life isn't supposed to be this way.  We are supposed to be care free and young and having fun.  We experienced all those questions.  Everyone that knew and loved Marshall felt the same extra heaviness that came with his death.  

At 18 years old, Travis, me and everyone else that grieved Marshall learned that life is too short.  We all say that when we hear of someone young dying but when you have lived through that kind of grief.... you say it and actually MEAN it.  That day in August, changed our lives forever.  Trav and I were broken up at the time but you best believe the very next day I got in my car and got to him as fast as I could.  We have been together ever since.  It's sounds cliche but we didn't want to waste one more day of not loving each other.  That day in August, Travis started seeking to know Jesus in a more serious way. God doesn't want tragedies to happen but you best believe He creates all things to work for the good. (Romans 8:28)  Stronger relationships were a big thing that came out of Marshall's passing.  

Bottom line, life is too short friends.  Those of us on this earth that have witnessed first hand a young person's death will tell you that.  And I guarantee you that we aren't just saying it to say it.  Start living today.  And no I don't mean go do crazy things.  I don't mean go jump of cliffs or drink all you can drink.  I mean start living today how you want to live the rest of your life.  Start living your life by being the best possible you.  Don't keep waiting to resolve those tough conflicts.  Don't keep waiting to fix things in your life that need to be fixed.  Don't put off one more day without getting to know Jesus.  He loves you so much and wants to be there for you through all of life's ups and downs.  

To those of you who knew and loved Kris Tanner, I pray you find comfort in Jesus.  There are no words that anyone can say to make you feel better.  Only our sweet sweet Savior can help.  And He's holding you in His arms and crying with you.  

I searched for Kris on FB to see if I recognized him from church.  Of course he has most of his profile hidden, which hopefully most of us do but what I did see there melted my heart a little.  The few status updates I could see, were of him thanking our glorious God for the day.  So go out into the world and be that kind of person.  Thank God every day for the gift of today.  Do something great today, even if it's just a small act of kindness.......and pray for the Tanner family and everyone else that knew this young man.....

Life is too shorts sometimes.  It's just too short....