God cares about your dreams...

Just over 3 years ago now I first started blogging.  I thought it would be a therapeutic way to get some thoughts and feelings out.  Maybe about motherhood, maybe about marriage, or maybe just about something that God lays on my heart.  I didn't know when I started that the past 2 years of our life would be so crazy and that the Lord would be laying so much to learn on our family's heart.  Whenever I have written, I have never known what the outcome would be.  Whether people would even read it or that I would have people reaching out to me and opening their hearts letting me know how Jesus chose to use my words to speak to them.  Each time I hit post, I say a short simple sweet prayer: "Jesus use this to your glory.  Let it speak to who you meant it for".  

I also did not expect for it to stir up a love for writing deep in my soul.  I didn't expect to have nights where I'm laying in bed writing a blog in my head.  I didn't expect to have moments in my day where I'm stopped dead in my tracks and have to sit down and write before the thoughts escape my mind.  I didn't expect to write things that I myself need to read again and again to remind myself of some of the lessons God has laid on my heart.  God has used blogging to work on my heart and change me in ways I never thought possible.

Over the past several months, I have been thinking dreaming about where this hobby would lead. Travis and I have had many talks about things I want to do in order to become a better writer.  We have been talking about big dreams I never expected to dream about doing.  While some of those dreams may never happen, it is so much fun to sit with your family and talk about all the ways you want to do your part to help change the world.  While currently my biggest dream is to actually attend a She Speaks Conference *and this is one that Travis and I have promised will happen some day*, I recently did something that I have never done before.  Something that a few years ago I would never even think of doing.  I applied to be part of a book launch for an author.  Just before my Facebook vacay started I saw on my newsfeed a post from We are THAT Family saying she was looking for people to help launch her new book: Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World.  So I hopped on the site and looked into how a person got on the book launch team.  Because let's be honest, that topic of the book? HELLO so much NEEDED in today's world.  After looking into it , I was thinking I was clearly late to the party and wouldn't probably never get chosen, I'm not one to 'win' anything so why would that change now? ;) But deep down in my heart I still wanted to try so hey why not? It certainly couldn't hurt anything.

Can I just say as someone who didn't dream all her life of becoming a writer how scary terrifying it is to put your blog on an application.  Like this application is going to a publishing company so there is a chance they are actually looking into who the heck you are.  But I was courageous and filled out all the info on the app, which included any social media accounts I also had.  Once I hit send there was no going back and frankly after I applied I didn't really think of it again.  Because I honestly thought I would never be chosen.  Seriously there had to be hundreds of people applying, why would they chose me?

Fast forward to Saturday afternoon.  I pulled up my email and looked at a company that emailed me that I honestly almost deleted but instead opened.  It was the publishing company in charge of Kristen Welch's new book congratulating me, yes ME for being chosen as part of the book launch team!!! Frankly even after telling my mom and my husband I still didn't believe it.  Why would I be chosen out of hundreds of applicants?

Even though I am on a Facebook hiatus, I did have to log on and request to become part of the launch team's closed group.  Which I did Saturday night and then didn't think about it again until last night.  I once again logged on quick to make sure I was 'accepted' by the admin and then once I was, I began to look through all the intros people had written.  Friends, this made me that much more nervous.  No joke.  This group of women they put together have AMAZING stories.  From all walks of life and lots of veteran bloggers.  Women that are missionaries across the world.  Foster moms.  Women that have some incredible companies and organizations that are furthering the kingdom of Christ.  Seriously so many amazing stories.  But there were snippets all over that these women, while we are all so different, are just like me.  We all have the same goals and dreams for the world and our family.  And then I just got overwhelmed by feeling so incredibly blessed.

Maybe I won't ever become an author of a book...maybe I won't ever have thousands of followers on my blog...but friends....God made sure I knew this past week that He sees me.  He sees my hopes and dreams.  He knows the deepest desires of my heart and He cares about them all.  Even if they seem too big for me.  Even if they seem silly to me.  Even if I think they are so far out there and crazy.  He wants all our dreams to come true.  He wants us to feel significant in this world even if it's for a small purpose because the reality is, in His world, even the small purposes are big.

Maybe these publishers randomly picked people.  Maybe there wasn't anything special that stood out to them about me.  But ya know what? Call me crazy but this wasn't a chance thing in my mind I was chosen.  This was a GOD thing.  God wants us to know that He always cares for us.  He always wants to help make our dreams a reality.  He wants us to feel quipped to help change this hurting world, no matter how small or insignificant we may feel.

So that dream you have been thinking is beyond you....that you think is too big for you...too far out of your comfort zone....something that you think will never be apart of your world.....Friend, it's not too crazy.  Maybe you won't go where you think you will go, maybe you won't become 'successful' with it as the world sees it, but God will use that dream of yours.  He can make it happen.  He doesn't want you to see yourself as unworthy of it.  Keep dreaming about it.  Keep striving to become better at it.  Keep putting yourself out there.  Keep leaving your comfort zone because I promise you...I promise God is going to keep giving you blessings to encourage you to use it for His glory...

I don't know if this launch team will lead to anything other than getting to know some amazing women across the world and to let you all know about an amazing book that is coming out, but what I do know is I am so beyond grateful that God gave me the opportunity to be apart of it.  And I'm so thankful He constantly reminds me that my hopes and dreams matter to Him.  No matter how silly they may seem.  Be encouraged sweet friend.....and always remember how deeply you are loved....

**While I am still technically on a Facebook hiatus, I am getting on once a day to stay in touch with this sweet launch team and continue to get to know them.  And my hiatus may come to an end sooner than I originally planned so I can be back on when it officially kicks off and I can start letting you all know the sweet goodness of this book.  So seriously stay tuned because I have a feeling this book is gonna be incredible for all you parents out there.  Happy Thanksgiving all!! May you be blessed as this holiday week kicks off!

Has it really come to this??

I think it goes without saying what a broken world we live in.  Lately it seems with each passing day, the world itself gets darker and darker.  It seems harder and harder to find the light.  Harder to continue to spread hope and love wherever we go.  It becomes harder and harder to explain to others where God is and what His plan is in all this.  It becomes harder and harder to let others know, God is still with us.  He still loves us.  Our own faith is getting harder and harder to sustain as the world pulls us in a million different directions.  Relationships are getting tested more and more as the world tries to put wedges in between us. Oh how my heart aches and tears fill my eyes as I think about all this.  I look at our two beautiful babies and think "God, how can we continue like this.  What will these two beautiful souls see in their lifetime." Because the truth is this:  The world is going to continue in the direction it is headed no matter how much we fight it because the bottom line is: This is not our home. We don't belong here.  Nothing we can say or do is going to change the entire world's course.  The course it is on is headed for destruction no matter how we fight it.  The only piece of hope in that is that we all know how it ends.  God wins.

That doesn't, however, mean that we don't continue to fight for souls that we can touch.  That doesn't mean we stop showing the light whenever and wherever we can.  That is our ultimate purpose isn't it? To win souls and hearts for Jesus?  If that is the truth can I ask a very real, honest, gut-wrenching question? One that terrifies me at the core because I know I have been so guilty of it just as much as everyone else...

If we as Christians all have the same purpose here on earth; that is to win hearts and souls for Christ....why, oh why are we as Christians constantly trying to puff out our chests and try to prove how much more Christian we are than the next?  The past few months have been awful when it comes to this.  I can't even begin to tell you how much of it I have seen on Facebook.  I know I am not excluded from this list because I have done it and had thoughts of it invade my mind just as much as anyone else.  And yesterday afternoon, my heart broke with that reality....

Take just a month or so ago as a first example.  Starbucks unveiled their new holiday season cup.  And at first there were a few in the country that saw it as a war on Christmas.  A guy even made a YouTube video of it stating his opinion.  And it was just that an opinion.  Whether you agreed or not, he never stated that if you didn't see it you weren't Christian enough.   And yet what did thousands of non-Christians do as well as thousands of Christians? Mocked him and everyone else who has this opinion.  The awful things that were said because of this small minority opinion where horrid.  And then I also saw image after image being shared of images 'proving' that if you shared this belief you weren't as Christian as those who thought it was in fact a war on Christmas.  For example, one said this: If coffee cups define your Christmas, honey its YOU who need Jesus.  Why? Why do we need to be at war with other Christians? *For the record, I didn't really care about the cup.  We don't support Starbucks for various reasons.  But hey if you still go to Starbucks? That's fine.  Whether you do or you don't isn't what makes you Christians.  It's who's in your heart. Jesus.

And then the next example is something that has happened in the past week.  Something that is awful to even be talking about.  Something that shows even more what a hurt, broken and evil world we live in, simply because the fact that it is happening.  Unless you've been living under a rock, you know all about what happened in Paris.  You know that Syrian refugees are supposed to be coming to America.  You know that there are those who are welcoming them with open arms, and you know there are those who are saying that we need to stop for a second and make sure we are properly 'vetting' them in order to keep our country safe.  I know countless Christians on both sides of the argument.  And in ways, I can see where BOTH sides are coming from.  As a mother and a human being, my heart breaks for those who have to even have this be an option for their family.  If I could and had the means to I would want to help them in any way possible.  And yet, I do think we need to take a beat and go over all procedures again to make sure we aren't bringing what they are fleeing from here.  If we do bring it here, we aren't saving them from anything.  And I have friends and family here I love and want to keep safe.  What I do not think is that one who believes one way over the other is any more of  Christian than the next.  We are called to love our neighbors, we are called to help the poor and needy but I don't think that just because a group of people want to ensure their safety first means they aren't Christian enough for Christ.  I don't think we as Christians should be condemning people on either side.  And what am I seeing on social media? Brother against brother, sister against sister, friends against friends.  We knew the non-Christian world would be using any tactic necessarily to call Christians out.  To make them look like hypocrites and to make them try to prove just how Christian they say they are.  But I didn't expect to see so many Christians condemning other Christians for their beliefs.  Once again we are trying to out do each other and puff out our chests.  I've seen it on both sides of the argument.  And it makes my heart break.

I'll be honest again by saying that I am just as much guilty as anyone else of these things.  Of having those thoughts in my head as I read something.  Thinking "Really you stand for that huh?  I'm more Christian than that."  It's an awful thing to admit about yourself.  Trust me, I've been dealing with it myself.  Sitting before God asking Him to cleanse my heart of such thoughts.  I believe we are called to keep other Christians accountable. That is biblical.  (Galatians 6:1-2) But I don't think when God said this He was referring to calling people out on social media.  And keeping Christians accountable I do not think includes the examples above.   Keeping one another accountable is doing it in a loving, respectful way.  In a safe place where the person loves you and knows they can trust you.  Trying to prove how much more Christian we are for having differing political beliefs is not the same thing.  It is something the devil is gleaming about.  He is loving what a divided Church we are becoming.   The secular world is gloating and laughing about how divided we have become.  How easy it is for us to turn on one another.

We all have the same purpose on this earth. To win hearts and souls for Christ.  It gets harder and harder to do that in today's world.  Especially when we are all turning against one another so easily.  When we are constantly trying to prove that we are more Christian than another.  There is no point to proving that to the world.  The only opinion who matters is Jesus.  And if you have Jesus in your heart and you love Him, that's all that matters.  You are on the same playing field as us all.  Let's keep each other accountable but not like this.  Not at the expense of becoming a more divided church than we already are.  This world needs us now more than ever.  We need to RISE up and fight for Christ more than ever before.  And in order to do that to the greatest glory that Christ deserves...we need to keep building each other up.  We need to rise together...united...as one body...

**You will find this blog on Facebook, however, I have been called away from it for awhile again.  My heart and soul need a cleanse of it.  It's so easy to get caught up in all the negative and worldliness of what it is sometimes....therefore Travis and I decided to take a step back.  Doesn't mean we are any better than those who are still on it ;) It just means God has called us to give it up for a time and therefore we want to be obedient to Him... We love you all more than you know and I will miss dearly seeing all that is going on with you guys and seeing your beautiful families....so please don't take offense if you don't get a notification saying that I 'liked' a photo.  I will be back at some point...hopefully with a better heart and soul for Christ.

Own it momma.....

I woke up this morning annoyed.  This whole time change has racked havoc on our girls' schedules.  We have been getting up far to early and it feels like it will never go back to normal.  After making sure Travis was putting on the coffee and I brought sweet Lyla down from her room, I started scrolling through Facebook on my phone as I impatiently waited for the coffee to finish.  After only a few short seconds I came across something that took my breath away.  Something that stopped me dead in my tracks and tears to form in my eyes.  A sweet angelic looking little 3 year old niece of a Facebook friend had passed in her sleep last night. Suddenly my annoyance seemed to not mean a single thing.  My babies where playing in front of me happily and....breathing...full of life.  I was happy and blessed to have them alive.  My small annoyance was nothing compared to the pain that young momma must be feeling....

All morning it was all I could pray about...think about.  Made me have more patience with the girls...more compassion...more grace.... And it got me thinking about how whenever something tragic seems to happen to a young child we always say the phrases "Hug your kids tonight..." or "Hold onto them a little longer today".  And then before we know it life moves on and exhaustion creeps in.  Our tempers get short again....the rush of life hurries us out the door.  But you know what? These precious children God entrusts us with...these fragile souls we get blessed with....are only ours for such a short time.  We can never 100% know when they will be taken from this earth.  Every single soul on this earth will be taken from it at some point.  We don't know the years, months, weeks, days or hours we have.  So besides the same old saying of cherishing every moment we have with them... I started thinking about something else we need to keep in mind as we journey together on this road of motherhood.....

Each of our journeys as mothers are different.  We all have our own way of doing things....we all have our own ways to be the best parents we can be to our kids.  And since time is fleeting before our very eyes I feel we as mothers need to start owning it.   We need to start owning the decisions we make as mothers for the benefit of our kids.  As mothers I know we all have those voices in our heads.  Those voices of doubt and fear over how other mothers or society is choosing to judge each and every decision we make for our kids.  But you see, TIME is FLEETING. Even if our kids never leave this earthly home before us, we still only get a few super short years to help shape their tiny souls.

So this is a call out to every single mommy out there.  New and experienced...young and old..... You, yes YOU were entrusted by God for that tiny little sweet amazing child's life.  Whatever decision you choose for the betterment of your kid, own it.  Hold your head proud and drown out every single doubt you have.  Hold your head proud and pray for God to help quiet all of society's judgments.  Stay at home mamas, we chose this life after much prayer and going over the numbers.  We chose this because it was the best decision for our family.  There will always be those people out there wondering what we did all day or thinking that if you are struggling financially maybe we should 'get up off our butts' and go to work.  Ignore them.  Own it momma.  Working mommas out there, good for you girl.  I know that decision wasn't easy.  I know when you come home to find out that sweet baby did something new without you being there is hard.  I know it's not easy but you decided that because it was best for your family.  Own it momma.  To the mom who prayed and cried and researched and prayed some more and then finally decided to homeschool.  I see you, I can only imagine that some days you wonder if you did the right thing.  I imagine it can get long and hard and stressful.  I imagine you can sense when it comes up in conversation and people say "Ohhhh you homeschool"...that you can tell in their voices that they don't approve.  Guess what? You don't need the world's approval.  You, only you know what's best for your family.  To the mommas who put their kids on that public school bus every morning and pray that they are kept safe.  I see you, I know how you must worry about all that is being taught at school.  How you must pray and worry so much for what they might be tempted with or how safe they are.  Girl, you made that decision because it's best for your family.  Or maybe you are the mom who spent money on a higher education, a degree in something your heart and soul was in.....But then that sweet angelic face popped into your life and your world turned upside down.  Therefore you aren't working in the field your degree is in...instead you are working a job that maybe wasn't your life passion but you get more time with that precious soul.  Don't be ashamed....don't be afraid to shout it out why you did it.  That little life is worth it. Own it mommma....OWN IT MOMMAS.

The list could go on and on....because you see we are all different.  No 2 moms are the same.  No 2 kids are the same.  God made each of us unique and with that each of our parenting techniques will be unique.  And that is a beautiful thing.  I don't ever want to be ashamed of how we chose to raise our 2 beautiful girls.  Because if there ever should come a time where our time together is cut short.....I don't want to have any regrets.  I don't want to ever regret not giving hugs, kisses and I loves yous....I don't ever want to regret how I raised them.  I want to own it.  I want to feel 100% confident that I did the best I could....the way Christ was leading me to parent.....

So sweet momma.....those doubts about how you are raising those precious little souls.....pray that God silences them.  As long as you are letting God speak into your heart about the way you should go...that's all that matters.  You know what your family needs more than anyone else.  Those little hearts look to you for guidance and you are doing the absolute best you can.  It might not look like how I do things or the mom down the street....but girl....you are rocking it.  Own it momma....own it....