It's funny how God will take you on a journey to get you where He wants you to be. And the fact is you will think He is taking you one way, when in reality He has a completely different course laid out for you. But He won't always lay out a clear path for you. You will have to be watchful and be careful to listen. You will have to put way more trust in Him than you even thought was possible. A lot of times you will be blindly going onto a pathway, and sometimes that path leads to some dark corners. Corners that are so dark, you hesitate. You hesitate because the devil puts those little thoughts in your head that God doesn't know what He's doing. That He isn't really there. That He lied to you. That the road is so unbelievably dark that you won't make it out with your head above the water. You will drown and God will sit there and watch it all happen. And that's when you have a choice to make. You can either buy into all those lies. And when you buy into all those lies, you turn onto your own road and away from God. And 99% of the time, on that road you will get to a drowning place. A helpless place. The other choice you have is simple yet it isn't so simple. See the other choice is taking those first steps into what looks like the darkest road....the longest road....the hardest road. And on that road, you won't always see God clearly. On that road, there will be days you cry out and say "Father what have you done? I can't do this....I wasn't made for this. What on earth were you thinking by putting me on this path?" But on that path...on that road....that road that looks like it's tons of mountains and valleys and dark corners; you will get breaths of fresh air. God will make sure to give you glimpses of the beauty He has coming for you. He will give you moments where you can't even deny His presence because it's too great to deny. On that road He will be holding your hand every second. He will be carrying you when your feet can't seem to walk another step. And when you finally get to your destination at the end of that journey, the view and the air will be far greater than any glimpse He's given you.
Right now, in this moment, we are just getting a glimpse of the beauty God has in store for us. We have had to trust Him with every fiber of our being the last year. Our faith has been stretched far more than we could have ever imagined. And even though it's been a hard year and the journey has not been easy so far, I don't think Travis nor I would change it. Because in the midst of it all, we have got to see more of who God is and what He wants for us. And we have been praying so hard for so long for us to move to Canby and for our house to sell. God has answered half of that prayer in the last few months. We are all moved under one roof and there are no words to describe how amazing it feels. My daughters smile every night when daddy walks through the door makes my heart soar. Hearing them chase each other and giggle hysterically every night blesses me more than I could ever imagine. Knowing my husband is getting a good home-cooked meal every.single.night. is AMAZING. Not sleeping alone in a big empty bed feels AMAZING. But we still have to trust Him. We do still own our house in Litchfield. We have renters in it and that was something that scared the crap out of us. But God has perfect timing and told us to wait to rent it out until we did because I firmly believe He found us the perfect renters and they probably weren't ready to rent our house a year ago. I also firmly believe He had the house we are in picked out for us. While it certainly is not the ideal house and isn't perfect...the fact is, it wasn't available or ready a year ago. There is a reason our house hasn't sold yet. There is a reason we are having to rent it out and in turn rent a house for us to live in. So our journey isn't over. We are still on the path God placed before us and we are still choosing the path that without God's help looks like the darker path. But with all that He has done for us in the past year, and looking back and seeing the ways He has never left us; we know.....we know the path He wants for us is the better path. It has our best interests at heart and in the end when we can finally say we are completely DONE with this journey, we will be looking around and saying, "My God how you are good. My Lord look at this. We couldn't have dreamed up a better ending. I wouldn't change a thing."
So the next time you come to a fork in the road and there are 2 paths you can take: An easy brightly lit one or a hard uphill darker road....just take a few more moments before you immediately go to the easy road. God never said following Him would always be the easy road. And even though it's not the easy road...if God is the one leading you down it....it will always....always....ALWAYS be worth it. Even if it takes you way longer than you imagined......
**This is one of the many many songs people told me to listen to through the dark times of our journey. So when you are on the hard road and in the place where you aren't sure what He has planned for you....pull up this song and sing it from the depths of your heart. And if you need more...I've got plenty to share :)
