We can all sit here and say we have faith and trust in the plans that God has laid out before us but how much do we 100% believe that and not worry one bit about what the consequences will be or if it's going to happen when we want it (which usually is right now)? Honestly it's so easy to say that we trust the Lord with our right now and our future. It's so easy to say we have faith in Him that He will come through with all He has promised us. But frankly there are probably very few times where we haven't even given it a second thought. Where we had so much faith and trust in Him that we just did or said what He wanted us to without a second thought. We are all human and it's in our nature to question and think it over. Especially if it's something outside of our comfort zone or something we really don't want to do, or even something that scares us.
Right now our family is waiting on so many questions that have no answers. We know God will get us where we want to be in His timing but it's so hard to wait when you so badly desire something. While I was in the shower this morning, dreaming the dreams we have been praying and begging for; God put a memory in my mind where I had 100% faith and trust in Him where I didn't even question it. I think of this memory often because it is so dear to me but I never thought of it in such a way that would give me so much hope in all areas of my life.
Those of you who are close with us know I had one very long tiring labor with Maci. I woke up the day before she was born with contractions at 4:00 am and then eventually they went away until 1:00pm that day. We went to the hospital that night and in the end I was in labor for 25 hours with over 4 hours of pushing. At about 1:30 pm the day Maci arrived, the doctor came in and told me that he needed to start prepping me for a c-section since my water had broke about 12 hours prior and things weren't progressing the way he had hoped. Now if you know me at all, you know that it's very hard for me to stand up for myself. Especially to a stranger. I always worry about how people are viewing me. But at that moment when he was telling me what I so badly didn't want to happen, it was like someone else entered my body. Travis to this day still tells me how much he was shocked by how I acted at that point. (As a side note, I"m a baby when it comes to pain ect so 'normal' Chrissy would have just wanted it all to be over) Instead of saying ok to something I didn't want to happen and becoming a basket case, I looked in that doctor's eyes and said, "No I CAN do this." He proceeded to tell me about possible complications that could arise if we didn't, ect. I looked at my nurses and at my sweet husband, then looked back in the doctor's face and asked how long he would give me. "I'll give you 20 minutes, and then we need to do a c-section." My response?
"I can do this. God's on my side."
Within 2 contractions our sweet baby girl who was being so stubborn on coming out was out in my arms and crying away. Still brings tears to my eyes as I think back on that moment. I know the Lord was whispering in my ear, "Daughter trust me. I've got your back. I will make sure you are both safe. You CAN do this. Trust. Have faith."
I did not think twice about what needed to be done in that moment. I trusted the Lord would take care of us and I had faith that He would fulfill what He told me would happen. God knew how much I didn't want a c-section. He knew about how much the idea of it scared me.
What does this all have to do with my every day life? I need to start having that kind of faith and trust in Him EVERYDAY. I need to stop questioning why not now. I need to stop trying to make it happen in my timing. I need to stop fighting it when it's something I don't want to do. When I need to say or do something in His name, I need stop being so scared about what the reactions of others will be. I need to start living with total and complete faith in Him. No questions asked.
"Then Jesus told them, 'I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don't doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, 'May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea' and it will happen. you can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it." Matthew 21:21-22
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