When feelings are more than you can bear....

My personality traits are not always for the faint of heart.  When I feel an emotion, it is felt in such a passionate, words can't even describe it way.  When I'm angry, the world knows it.  It's not something I am quiet about.  When I'm hurt, I hurt in such a deep way that, sometimes, I'm not sure how I will ever even be able to process the hurt in a healthy way.  When I love, I love BIG.  When I'm happy, it's hard to contain the excitement.  I want everyone to feel that joy when I have it in my reach.  Life with me can be a roller coaster at times and I am so blessed to have the hubby I have.  He knows how to help with those hard raw emotions as best he can.  He holds me and lets me cry it out for as long as I need to.  When I'm angry, he lets me unload and get it off my chest so I don't explode later.  He gets me....and I know not every man in the world could handle my emotions all the time.

While there are positives and negatives to this personality trait, today I was reminded how dangerous it can also be.  Along with those raw, real, bigger than myself emotions I let myself feel....I also can have a ridiculous amount of being the hardest on myself.  Whether I'm angry, or just plain hurting....I open the door in my mind for the enemy to come in and have a huge place as his preying ground.  As my heart is hurting, my mind is racing to think of every possible outcome to the issue at hand.  I'm going over every word said, every action taken.  I let myself start to feel alone.  I let myself start to think that no one understands these feelings.  The devil takes that as his lead to enter into a war with our minds.  He uses it as his cue to whisper those sweet lies about ourselves that are so easy to feed into....

That we aren't good enough.....we don't love how we are supposed to....that God would be ashamed of us......how could anyone ever love us.....you are selfish.....you are a nobody....God will never forgive you....they will never forgive you.....you missed up so big this time, you will never recover..... they will never love you how you should be loved.....they don't deserve your friendship.....or you don't deserve them...

The list could go on and on and on with lies and deception he uses to make you feel lower than you already felt.  To make you feel like you will never be worth Christ's love.  That you will never live up to the expectations you are supposed to......

And then God spoke and showed me this beautiful verse:

Friend, there is so much beauty and truth in that one simple statement.  Whether we feel guilty for reasons that aren't true or we feel guilt because we truly did something wrong....God KNOWS our hearts.  He KNOWS our intentions, even when the world around us doesn't get it.  No matter how BIG and SCARY our feelings can get sometimes...no matter how MUCH they seem to take over moments in our lives.....God is GREATER than them.  God is GREATER than that serpent whispering all those lies about who you are in your ear.  When feelings consume us, we have the power to cry out to God and say, "God, this hurt, this anger, this loneliness ect, God, it hurts.  It seems bigger than me.  It's trying to consume my heart and my mind, but I REFUSE to let is take my soul.  I REFUSE to give into all those other feelings that are just lies from the devil.  Take this burden Lord.  I don't know how to handle it.  I don't know how to lay it down but God, my loving Savior...take it! Let these emotions turn a corner.  Help me to know that no matter what, You've got this.  You are greater than my human instincts...You are GREATER than my feelings."

We need to feel friends.  And I'm a firm believer that if you are feeling something you should feel it and explore it.  You should let it out.  Whether it be crying on someone's shoulder or going for a run when you are angry and need to cool off.  Your feelings are always valid. It's what you do with those feelings and how you handle them that matters....But when those feelings start to feel like more than you can bear....we don't have to be afraid.  We don't have to hear those lies the devils so desperately wants us to believe.  Our God is so much GREATER than them.  God knows our intentions, He knows our hearts....He knows EVERYTHING....