As Christians we know that there is a much better life after our time here on earth, but that doesn't take away the fact that someone we loved and shared our lives with has left us. We will never get to hug them, kiss them, tell them we love them, call them up on the phone ever again in this world. Fact of the matter is, losing someone, even when you believe you will see them again in heaven, still hurts.
Every week, at least once, I have thought back to a question the pastor had asked our family before the funeral procession. He looked out at us and asked, "Would anyone like to speak at all?" We all just kinda looked around blankly and shook our heads no. Even though I am not one to get up and speak in front of a crowd, I'm still a little regretful that I didn't get up and say yes. Maybe I would have stepped up to the plate had he not asked 5 minutes before we all had to walk in behind our beloved Mom's/Grandmother's casket.
The funeral was as wonderful as a funeral can be. But there were also people there I had not met. Extended family members that lived elsewhere and we weren't close with. Some that maybe hadn't seen Grandma for awhile. They knew of course how much Grandma obviously had been loved by us, but I wanted them to hear the stories of what she meant to us.
I have thought about what I would have said many times in the past month. Obviously can't go back and redo any of it. If I could, I would go further back so that I could hold my last hug with Grandma a little longer and a little tighter. I have no idea why the words keep going through my mind. Maybe I just need to say it for my own personal reasons or who knows maybe there is a different reason I can't see right now.
My grandmother was a strong, beautiful, feisty, loving woman. She said what was on her mind and didn't care who heard. There are many times I remember hearing words come out of her mouth that shocked me and I would say, "GRANDMA!". She would look at me and say, "Well it's MY opinion, I can say it if I want." Those times bring a smile to my face now, because it was who she was and she didn't change for anybody. :) The days before she died beloved memories I had with her would come to my mind. The Friday nights I would spend over at her house and she would lay in bed scratching my back with her long painted fingernails until I fell asleep; late nights staying up watching "I Love Lucy" on Nick at Nite; all the Christmas' that her living room was filled with all of us crammed into the living room to see what she bought us. The most memorable time for me was one day I was at her old house on Rice Street and we decided to make mac 'n cheese for lunch. I can't remember how old I was but I must have been pretty little because I remember having to stand on a stool to stir the noodles for her. I must have made the wrong move because it ended in my arm getting burned from my elbow to my wrist. Grandma had no idea what to do and in some crazy thought, she decided it was best to bring me into Lewis Drug and ask the pharmacist what to do with it. :) Good intentions of course.
Whether it was a day spent with her granddaughter catching butterflies or Grandma giving her grandson some money to run across the street to buy some candy at the Liquor store she created a lasting impression on all of her family. She raised 4 wonderful children, including a set of triplets during a time when triplets were completely uncommon. She spent hours on the phone with her daughter-in-law when us kids were just little. She loved my husband dearly and often told me how handsome he was. She loved my baby girl and all of her great-grandchildren deeply.
She packed a lot of life and a lot of love into her 86 years on this earth. Her life was greatly intertwined with ours and the bottom line is, our lives will not be the same with her gone. We still miss her and we of course still love her, but we have hope and joy in knowing this isn't good-bye. Grandma we will see you again. Just keep dancing with Jesus until we get there, just make sure to save a dance for us. :)
The Family who loved Geraldine Grimlie
(minus Maci of course)
No comments:
Post a Comment