When God takes you on detours...

It's so easy to question God isn't it? It's so easy to also question whether you took a wrong path.  You sit down and pray over a situation.  You pray so hard for God to show you that that is the calling for you.  That this road will lead to good things at the end of it.  That this road will lead you to blessings far more than you can imagine.  That's what we did almost exactly 2 years ago.  We sat down and prayed so hard for our future.  We felt God calling us out of Litchfield.  And as scary and hard as it was, we felt such a peace about it.  We felt that God was giving Travis an opportunity to move into his dream position.  We felt that He had bigger and better things in mind for our family and we needed to put far more trust into Him than we ever had before.  Trav accepted the Canby job, we put our house on the market...and then much to our disappointment.... Maci and I watched Trav drive away to his new job without us.  We watched him do that every single week for a year.  It was probably the hardest most emotional year I had ever had.  Our faith was tested more than it ever had up until that point in our still somewhat young lives.  And then November 1st rolled around and we finally got to move as a family.  Things were still left undone but we finally finally got to all live under one roof.  We were so happy and didn't want to take a second of it for granted. A few months later we had our 2nd baby girl and even though our house was still on the market we continued to trust God with everything we had.  After all he had brought us this far.  We had some severe hardships this past winter with finances but God provided like He always does.

As spring rolled around we started to feel that unsettled feeling again.  That feeling like God is doing something behind the scenes and yet you don't know what it is.  I got excited thinking our house was going to sell as soon as we put it back on the market.  And then God started whispering into my heart....."Make the most of the situation you are in Daughter but you don't belong here.  I've got something else in mind" And to be honest Trav and I tried to ignore it.  After all we worked so hard to move here.  And then things began happening.  Things that broke our heart.  Things that made us angry.  Things that made me cry... a lot.  Finances started to get tighter and tighter (seriously NEVER EVER EVER live in a house with fuel oil. WORST DECISION EVER). As we started to try even harder to find new housing that was affordable and just simply worked better for our family in the area we kept coming up empty handed.  And that whispering in our hearts began getting louder and louder. "You don't belong here children......I've got something better in store for you".  So Trav began searching for new jobs.  We were so confused because honestly....we thought Canby was going to be our new forever hometown.  And yet a place we worked so hard to get to, God was just blocking our paths to stay here.  We didn't get it. We didn't understand it.  Why God? Why after such a hard year to get us here are we having to search to leave again? Did we hear you wrong the first time? Were we never supposed to be here in the first place? And that's when the Hefty job popped up in South Dakota.  Trav didn't apply right away.  In fact he had applied to other jobs before that didn't work out for one reason or another.  But that job kept getting brought up on our computer screen and he kept asking me what I thought.  He finally said "What the heck.  It can't hurt me to apply"  He never in a million years thought they would look twice at his application.  You see this is a job he thought he wouldn't get for many years after working in a coop in sales.  He's always wanted to work at a big seed company.  (And even though I didn't say it I was pretty excited for the job to be so close to my family ;) ) After he applied, he got an email pretty quickly from HR that she was on vacation for the week but really looked forward to talking to him the next week about the position.  That was sign number 1 that God was moving.  What person on vacation responds to a resume? Seriously that doesn't happen.  Soon after that I read this verse:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

Jeremiah 29:11-14

That last line struck me "I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land." He will gather us from where He sent us. He will bring me home again to my own land.  Wow.  Powerful stuff given our situation at that time.  Fast forward a few weeks and Trav had done 2 interviews with 2 different companies.  Both told us fairly quickly that they wanted him and offered him jobs.  But it was extremely clear which one was meant for us.  Hefty not only wanted him, but they let him choose which location he wanted to be at.  There were also some other things that were holding us back from saying yes and yet Hefty made sure to make those right with us so we had no doubts in our mind this was the place for us.  There was even one point as Trav was telling me what was said as such a God thing where I cried.  God was working miracles and He was making sure we got the message loud and clear this time.  

I can't even begin to tell you all the ways God has made sure we are confident this time with this move.  From housing.... we had an AWFUL time trying to find a place...Which in turn made us so angry because again REALLY God?? Really? That was a big reason why we had to move from Canby and now we are having to deal with that again? Well, turned out one of the first places I called ended up working out even though it sounded like it wasn't going to work out at all.  Budget wise was perfect...location wise was perfect....so far everything has been perfect.  The weekend we accepted the job we had 2 showings on our house in Litchfield which we hadn't had in forever.  Did our house sell? No but God has always used showings as a way to reassure us it seems.  A week or so after we accepted, suddenly in Canby there were 3 or 4 houses for rent.  If we hadn't got this new job at this certain time we probably would have rented one and then been stuck here for at least another year.  There have been many more signs but right now my brain is all over the place.  

You see, when God tries to bless you, for some reason, the devil starts to get nervous.  The last 2 weeks have again been so extremely emotional.  Things have been happening that are very hurtful.  Things have been happening where it is also been made even clearer that we don't belong in Canby.  Things have been happening where we are questioning God even more than ever why He brought us here.  And even though these things are so hard and can break our hearts into a million pieces God has very quickly seemed to pick up the pieces and start trying to weave it all together for the good.  And it makes me so thankful that God is on our side and that we love Jesus so much. 

I will never understand this world.  I try so hard to see the best in everyone and this world quickly reminds me that this isn't our home.  People and events won't always do what is right.  The devil will always be at work.  Those facts will always seem to take my breath away and break my heart.  But through it all, I can always be assured that Jesus loves us so so so much.  Life is hard but He will never never leave us.  I am living proof and can sit here and tell you without a doubt that Jesus cares.  He is always there.  You can cry to Him, scream at Him, question Him and yet He will still be there.  He is always waiting for you to come to Him.  If you hold on to Him, life seems just a bit easier to deal with. It will still be hard, there will still be heartbreaks but we have so much hope and promises in Him that will never fail.  Whatever you are going through...please please always hold onto that.  

The next month or so....especially the next 2 weeks are going to be incredibly hard on our family.  Our faith, in my opinion, is going to be tested even more than it has been thus far.  The only thing I can and will say is we aren't leaving Canby with very many good memories and good things to say.  And that's such a hard thing to say.  It breaks my heart quite honestly.  We are trying to speculate why God even brought us here and quite frankly I don't think we will ever know until we meet Jesus in heaven someday and get to ask Him.  What I do know is God gave me such a precious gift for my last year here.  And tears are filling my eyes thinking about her but honestly it needs to be said.  Jess Citrowske I can't thank you enough for your incredible friendship since we moved here.  God used you to make sure that I never felt alone in this town.  Your family's friendship is something we are going to cherish forever.  God hand picked you to be put in our lives and I can't thank Him enough for that.  "I thank my God every time I remember you" Philippians 1:3 

Please please please continue to keep our family in your prayers the next month, especially the next 2 weeks.  We have a mountain in front of us and will be having to lean on God more than ever before.  This path once again isn't going the way we thought but we know God can make everything work out for good. (Romans 8:28) Life is hard...but our God is so much stronger.....