The Derailed Train...

Devastated.  Hurt. Angry. Bewildered. Confused.  We sat there in the kitchen wondering how it could have ended up this way.  We had heard God.  We knew this was the path He had wanted for us and yet here we sat questioning why if His plans were so good...then why did this one seem to hurt so much?  

It all happened about a year or so ago now.  The job offer that seemed like it would be forever away for Trav landed in his lap.  We knew it was a God thing.  We knew it wasn't by chance that this was happening at that particular moment in time.  It started to make our whole story make sense.  Why our house wasn't selling...why we weren't finding a more permanent place to live other than Trav's manager's house.  We were on what seemed like cloud nine until we suddenly realized we were between a rock and a hard place.  That minor detail of our landlord also being Trav's boss.  Therefore instead of giving the usual 2 weeks notice, we would have to give 30 days notice.  I don't know if it was just us being naive or not, but we didn't think it would matter.  God had brought us this far and we knew He wouldn't leave us hanging.  We knew that in the end He would work it all out.....

Until that day.  That day where our world seemed to crumble.  That day the rug seemed to be pulled out from underneath us.  That day where the train God placed us on seemed to derail fast and hard......Trav had given his notice and wasn't to start the new job for 4 more weeks.  And suddenly just days after walking into their office, Trav was called back in and told that in just 2 days he would have to have his last day....3 weeks early.  Without pay....without insurance.....without a way to support his family.  It cut like a knife.  The anger that was placed in our hearts seemed far more than we could bear.....

"God, your plans for us are good.  You are good! Why doesn't this feel good? Why would you allow this to happen?"

I could tell you all the things that came out of my mouth in those final 2 days of him working there. I could tell you all about the pain we felt.....about all the anger we didn't know how to handle.  But I will spare you those pleasantries.  Because they were far from pleasant as I'm sure you can imagine.....but what I can tell you....what I can tell you is how our good God used those 3 weeks to make sure we knew just how He uses it all for His good.  How He always has our best interests in mind, no matter how much the world tries to break us down to nothing...

You see it was in those 3 weeks that Trav's beloved Papa became fatally sick.  He was in his last few days here on this earth.  His body was failing and it was in that time Trav had off that we got that call.  Because Travis wasn't working, He had the time to go to his dying grandfather's side to give his hand one final squeeze.  He had the time and the freedom to go tell him he loved him one final time.  If Trav would have still been working, I know he wouldn't have been able to have those moments.  And I know those last moments with him mean more to Trav than he will ever care to admit.......It was also in those 3 weeks that we had more than enough time to pack up that house as a family.  I didn't get the luxury of having my husband home when we moved the first time and so it was something I missed out on.  The last time I had to pack up the house myself.....but this time, we got some amazing quality time with him.  He also got to start a week early at Hefty.  God blessed us with that prayer answered.  And because he got to start a week early......we also got blessed with being able to go as a couple to Las Vegas with the agronomists of Hefty.  If he would have started when he was originally scheduled to, he wouldn't have started til the week everyone was already there.  

I'm not sure why this whole situation came to me again today as we were out on an afternoon walk. Maybe it's because we are in yet another situation of questioning what God could possible make good come out of it. Or maybe it's because there's someone who is going to read this that needs to hear it.  Whatever the reason is, I do know this:

God is faithful and true.  He is never changing.  He is the GREAT I Am.  And He has the power to stop any bad situation that may be headed for us.  He could have laid it on those managers hearts to let Trav finish out his time with them.  If He had we would have never had to experience the kind of hurt and anger that we did.  But God also gives every single person on the face of this earth free will.  And we know that since this world is a fallen one, there will be people and situations that fail us.  Things that make us question if God truly is good.  Things that make us second guess if we truly did hear His calling for us.  But friends, when you know without a shadow of a doubt that God has placed you a on certain train.....when you know you heard Him LOUD and CLEAR......don't ever second guess who He is and that He is good and His plans for you are good.  There are gonna be times that train will flat out derail from the tracks.  There will be times that it goes a completely different direction than you thought it would.  But don't you dare let go.  You hang on to that train for dear life.  Because if God placed you on that train, no matter how many bumps and pot holes you hit, it is headed some place good.  It may derail, and your heart may get broken in the process.  But God can take those broken pieces of your heart and turn them around for good.  He can bring good out of anything that the world throws your way.  So hang on tight dear one.....God isn't finished yet...

If this is where your heart is today friend, take a few minute and listen to this song.  Let it bless you, it's like she reached into my heart and wrote a song about what that month was like for us....