Columbine, Virginia Tech, Aurora Theater, Sandy Hook........all 4 horrific events I've sadly had to see happen at my young age of 25. Events that were so unbelievable that we are still in shock for each one. Events that lead us to question everything we've ever known. Question whether we are safe, question whether we should send our children to school, question whether we should go to a movie....and sadly some even question whether we really do have an all powerful, merciful God. No words can ever fully describe what we as a country are feeling. We know that change has to happen, we just aren't certain what that change might mean for us.....
Travis and I have had so many conversations since last Friday about Sandy Hook. When we first heard we were on our way to Sioux Falls to celebrate Christmas with my family, so we had a good couple of hours together to feel everything we were feeling and express it to each other. We got to be angry together, we got to be scared together, and we got to be sad together. I'm so thankful God gave me this man to walk through this world with me. Travis knows my heart so well and shares in the same feelings I have on so many things.
Last night after Maci was safely put into her bed our conversation turned back to that day. We both shared new things we had heard through the news on it. Of course talked about the ridiculous things people say on facebook about it. (Let's all be honest, there are some really really far out there things being posted) I told him about an interview I had seen on Katie with a mother who lost her daughter in Columbine. This mother went and talked to the mother of one of the shooters 9 months after that day in April. The mother had no idea what to say to this woman who the world was blaming for her son's actions. Before she rang that doorbell she asked God to give her the words to say and ask. What he said back to her was this: "Ask her about her son. Ask her who he was." When she did that, the mother of the shooter cried as she talked about a normal boy growing up. A boy who was just like everyone else as a child. A boy she had no idea would turn into a murderer.
We also talked about how a change needs to happen. While we aren't sure what that change means for the government, we do know what that change means for us. To be a better person period. Not just this next week, not this just month, not even just this next year. Forever. We talked about our little girl and how she is going to go through so much in her life. With all our generation has had to witness so far, I don't even want to begin to imagine what our children will see. Because the fact of the matter is, this world will only get worse. But we also know that if we do everything in our power to raise her right, she just might be a small change in the world that it needs.
Ironically, just an hour after Travis and I had this conversation a dear friend texted me asking me a question I didn't know if I had the strength to answer. I didn't know if I could say what I wanted to in a way she needed to hear it. In a way that would not only bring comfort, but would also be accepted. This whole event is so delicate and we have to be so careful what we say and do about it because everyone is at a different place with it. She asked me if I ever look at my beautiful baby and feel so much love but then get a sick feeling inside thinking about how messed up this world is. And they have to grow up in it. How bad is it going to be for them if it's this bad for us?
Powerful questions. Questions I have wondered about before too. I picked up my phone and prayed as I responded. As this is what came out:
Yes but I also know we have a God that loves us. There is evil in the world. There is no way around it. God gave us free will and therefore some aren't going to chose good. In fact it's easier to choose evil sometimes. I know without a doubt our babies will see some awful things in their lifetimes. But then I think about how amazing they can be. That if we raise them to know the Lord, and do the best we can, and pray continually for them.... What if they do something great?? What if they are placed on this earth to save a soul?? Even if it's just one soul it is all worth it. For them and for us. What if they live their lives far more greatly for the Lord than we do? Teach them to be good. Teach them about Christ. Teach them to reach out to those who hurt and are the outcasts. Teach them to stand up for someone who is bullied. Do that and it will all be worth it. But yes....when I'm rocking Maci to sleep I do think about it. But then God meets me in that place and gives me reassurance that it will be ok.
Sadly we know 1 thing about all of the shooters in these cases. They were different. Their classmates called them weird. Does them being the 'outcast' make any of this ok?? Of course not. What they did is wrong. But I want my kids to do everything in their power to make sure no kid feels alone or weird. Bullying has become a normal in our country. We have brushed it off as kids being kids. In the past year I think we have finally started to at least try to wake up and realize it needs to change.
Yes change needs to happen in this country. Does it need to come from the government? I don't know that answer. The only answer I do know is that we need to change. Change how we act and feel. Teach your kids to do good. Teach them to reach out to others. Teach them to stand up for those that are the 'outcasts'.
I'm going to leave you with a link my mom sent me this morning. A devotional she gets daily through her email; it talks about how to pray for the mommies of those that lost a child last Friday. Continue to pray for them daily friends, for as long as you can. Because once the media gets tired of the story, they are still left with the pain of it.
How to pray for the families of Sandy Hook
Merry Christmas friends. Make the most of it and show the world the love of Jesus. :)
~Chrissy
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